I’ve been struggling with a theme for the last year and a half, very strongly. It can be summarized in two words: “Not alone.” This is me missing places that always felt like, “come as you are. All are welcome here. Our differences make this place more vibrant. Love and respect are all that matters.” Concerts, certain scenes, and some online groups really celebrated that aesthetic.
Now I’m very happy that those places are needed much less for so many people. There are still people who feel torn in this current climate. People who look like everything is cool on the outside, but feel completely without a real place to be themselves. I’ve been searching for that place, but every time I act like it’s already there for someone else, it appears.
Not alone.
I’m thinking of how this relates to my art and music. Not alone. One of my favorite bands is My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult. I recall them giving an interview where they state that songs are pretty much put on their albums in the same order they are recorded. They created an album called The Reincarnation of Luna, in which the second last song was called “Asylum Disciple.” They then said to expect more songs like “Asylum Disciple” on their next album, The Filthiest Show in Town. It’s on my mind because of a convergence. First, I’m seeing the path toward the community I’d like to be a part of. Second, I think I’m doing the same thing.
It’s possible the last song with lyrics from one album foreshadowed the entire next album recorded by this band I love. It’s very probable that the last song I recorded will foreshadow my next work – as an artist and a person.
This is the last song from my most recent project. Carnival of One. The words “not alone” repeat through the entire song. You’re on your own, but you’re not alone. You’re raising the freak flag, in fact, for other people who need to feel less alone.
The next project is going to built on that theme. “You are not alone.”
There is so much chaos right now. People are hardening into smaller clusters. I feel personally like those clusters/groups are built in part on antagonistic relationships with other clusters. I feel like a lot of people are quietly or not so quietly feeling lost between those clusters. And I feel, sometimes I seem to hear, that people wish they had communities where that stuff doesn’t matter. People seem hungry for communities built on love and respect.
To that I say: If you’re hungry then you’re already the community. If you’re lonely then you’re already the person starting that community. If you’re lonely then you’re not alone. If you crave that loving community then offer love to others in the face of fear. That community will find you.
The last song on my last project was intensely purchase. It’s something I hope to grow from as a person in interactions with other people. It’s something I hope to grow from as an artist, who creates art to cheer and comfort other people.
If you’re lonely, it will pass. There are more of you than you know. Lonely, but not alone.
-Andrew
He has worked as a level designer for a small online video game, as the grim reaper in a haunted house, and traded web design for concert tickets and tattoos.In years past, he could be found performing improvised comedy or stage magic in the south side of Austin, Texas.
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